I give a PowerPoint presentation entitled "From Paradox to Wholeness" (the next one is June 18 in Chicago. See the website.). The premise is that in order to truly get to wholeness, one must embrace paradox not just as an abstract concept but as the paradox that you are. How do you do that? Follow me into a fascinating world...
Notice what Rene Magritte thought such a world would look like.
It is day and night at the same time. Granted, such a world wouldn't really exist, but let's think of areas in life where opposites or contraries do occur in your life. For example, have you ever been happy and sad at the same time? Among sailors, they say that the day you sell your boat is the happiest and saddest day of your life. What other opposite pairs apply to humans?
Dead and alive
Spirit and matter
Here and there
Male and female
Let's look at the last one. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you certainly don't see two genders. In fact, most of the time, we identify with the one seen in the mirror. Consider, however, that you are both male and female even though only one is physically manifested. What does that imply? It means that there might be a large part of your self that you have been denying or repressing. It means that you have a lot more useful qualities and characteristics that you can tap into to help you deal with situations in your life. For example, if you are generally very logical and intellectual, you can consciously access your more emotional side. Since we all have an emotional side, what's the big deal? Well, if it is simply being reactivated or triggered as a response, it might not be serving your best interests. When you can consciously and intentionally draw upon your emotions, they can serve you well.
I have also noticed that frequently our unmanifested gender has some kind of issue with the manifested gender or vice versa. For example, one's unmanifested male might be a misogynist or one's unmanifested female might be terrified of men. Again, that doesn't leave you in a powerful place to approach relationships with others. When you can recognize and heal the dysfunction between your own sides, it leaves you in a better space from which to deal with others.
"Knowing that you are both male and female, you get to choose which to manifest. When you know all that you are, in your bothness, intending is nothing other than choice."
--The One That Is Both, p. 173
So, if you are feeling brave, try this exercise to get to know your unmanifested gender.
Close your eyes and picture what your unmanifested gender looks like. Is s/he tall or short; blonde or brunette, redhead or gray; sweet and docile or feisty; a warrior or a sage; cheery or dour; what ethnicity; what age?
What does your unmanifest self think of your manifest self?
What did you notice?
